He

Whoa - do I know you? One of my close friends expressed this to me in practically the same words. Or maybe it's just a universal thought, just a place we all end up at every once in a while.

I got a little confused toward the end, but that's just because I was wondering about he's and him's and how that same person I mentioned earlier described me as a him and whether or not I really do know you. The second time I read it, it made perfect sense. (Probably like what's going to happen when you read this review.)

Wait a second - she hates Jane Austen. Like really hates her. I guess I don't know you after all.

I like the sincerity in this story. The only thing that could make it better are a couple of synonyms - just a little bit of spice, so to speak.

Anyway, I'm sorry for most likely creeping you out with the "do I know you?" thing, and am just going to stop embarrassing myself by saying that your piece is good and sweet. I really liked it.

Awh! I thought this was really neat. Perfect for a one shot. Loved the rhetorical question at the end. The whole vibe of that in general, sweet. Very good. I'd keep it a one shot piece though. Seems to fit better that way.

I liked this. It was very real, and it's what's going through every teenager's head right now. I love how it was so down to earth, and you didn't ruin the personal feel of it by adding useless names. I liked the simplicity as well. This was really good. Nice job!

I really like the begining of this as it actually made me want to read on. You get a lot of stories, or openings, which you think 'aaa i cant be bothered to read all that' just from the first line; yours was great and thats what made me read on. The personal pronouns 'he and him' make you think of those people who have once been in your own life. However towards the end with all the 'he' 'him' and 'someonelse' 's flying around it became a little jumbled. I dont know if that was on purpose it may have just been me just an observation.

Keep writing.

-jac

I really, really liked this :')
I like the way you wrote it, and almost everything about it xD
Twas awesome, keep it up!

I can most definitely relate to this. I know all Him and I see the other people but no one else compares. You are an amazing writer and I love the tempo you had throughout your piece. It showed great emotion and feeling and I hope to read more of your writing. Keep up the amazing work

I love the way you layed this out. It was very creative and capturing. I usually can judge if i will like a piece based on the first two sentences, and I knew i would like yours after the first one. I really enjoyed your style, like i said. I thought it was pretty new. something I haven't really seen or read a lot. Yeah, It was really good, i for one loved it. Although I couldn't connect with "someone else" i understood where it was coming from and i was stilled pulled into believing that this "someone else" became "him". I really loved the end where you jumbled all of the "someone else"s and "him"s. I thought that was really creative, Keep playing around with this form of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

This was a good story, short and to the point. and not to many words. I am not going to repeat what everyone else said. but other than that. its was interesting. keep up the good work. Keep writing

Well, after trotting through a few stories in the romance section, I found something I actually like...which is this story. Or whatever you'd call this. It sounds like something you'd tell your children about how you met your husband, which gives it a nice warmth. I love your characterizations; having unnamed stereotypes play out their roles in a realistic situation makes for interesting reading. Good piece, keep writing!

Very good writing. Short, sweet, and to the point. Your writing is ncie and doesn't blabber about nonesense that has nothing to do with this topic. I can relate to it. I remember high school always having a crush on someone I knew I'd never get or that would notice me enough to hold a conversation with me. Great job. Keep it up!

Absolutely amazing. It's simple, yet complex. It's completely true and I am sure that almost everyone can relate to it. I love it!

Wow, this was amazing. You'd think all the he's and him's would get confussing but I actually knew what you meant the whole time. Just a few gramatical errors but other than that, it was breath taking. The way you used your words and manipulated the situation was great. Everything spoke to me. I could actually think back to when this exact thing happened to me. I have to say well done, I loved this and I think you are extremly talented. I want to read more of your stuff. (:

Love, AnneMarie(:

Yes, I think we all know that guy. Him, that is.
Well written, Elizabeth! You wrote this story with a lot of sincerety!

I loved this! The emotion and inner confusion really came out at the beginning, and it really worked. I also liked that both of the male characters in this piece were namelss, it really makes it easy to relate to. I think this piece is really good, keep up the good work.

Hey there Mrs Darcy!

I really liked this. I agree with the other reviewers who have said it's relatable and that's what makes it so good. You make it so that the reader can imagine their own 'hes' and 'hims'

You don't over-work any of it either. You write it simply and with such truth that it's really kind of scary how almost everyone finds themselves in this situation

Good job on this!

xDudettex

Great work! I love this! The story was so real. It's too true. Thanks for this great piece. Keep on writing!

This was great. It was beautifully written an real. Any teenage girl could easily relate to this, cause I sure did.
Keep writing! (:

I absolutely love this short piece. I love how you got the emotion just right so that the reader can relate. I have nothing bad to say about it either. I can relate to this story 100% and I love it that I can. Keep up the good work aand keep writing. You really seem like you know what you are doing.

Wow. I think it's a really beautiful story, the way the shortness compliments the personal feelings. It also get's you thinking of your own special ending and 'what would you do if it was you'.

Hello there.

Any way, he was around that day.

I loved this, it's so very... real. Even though it's meant as fiction, there is still a reality check in there too. Great job, really. It's very simple, but expresses so much. I liked it alot.

Hey there... This is really sweet story... Something people end up loving

You know him, I’m sure you do, or someone a lot like him. He’s that guy whose voice always makes you look up in case he’s talking to you. He’s that guy who you can’t stop staring at even when you know he’s looking straight at you. He’s that guy whose every move you tilt to figure out how he feels about you. He’s that guy who never notices you

I’m sure you know someone else, too. He’s sort of quiet and nice and not really terribly attractive or fascinating, but when you talk to him he turns out to know a lot more than you do, and you always like to give him a hug, but you never really seriously think about him because He is always at the back of your mind.

He--

You know him, I’m sure you do, or someone a lot like him. He’s that guy whose voice always makes you look up in case he’s talking to you. He’s that guy who you can’t stop staring at even when you know he’s looking straight at you. He’s that guy whose every move you tilt to figure out how he feels about you. He’s that guy who never notices you.
( nice transition of thought)
Any way, he was around that day. Not near me, but in my head. I was thinking about him, and wishing I could see him again. I hadn’t seen him in months. I wondered what he was doing. He turned down my friend request. What’s with that? So I was thinking about him, and suddenly I looked up and saw someone else standing there.
( again, ditto)
I’m sure you know someone else, too. He’s sort of quiet and nice and not really terribly attractive or fascinating, but when you talk to him he turns out to know a lot more than you do, and (you'd?) like to give him a hug, but you never really seriously think about him because He is always at the back of your mind.

Now someone else was in front of me, and he gave me a hug and a smile, and we talked for a while, and then when I was going to leave, I saw him looking at me.

I guess you know the rest of the story. After a few months someone else becomes him. The He of "back then" has a place in your memory, but soon someone else has your whole heart, and then he’s him, only he’s better than him, because he knows you and wants you.

Maybe he’s the only kind of he there should ever be. What do you think?

Wonderful job with this, really. It was so simple and sweet. So simple that it made a whole lot of sense, but still wasn't in the least bit boring. I think this is because everyone can read this and relate it to an experience or experiences of their own. The you start reminiscing the past and all that good stuff. So I like what you did here in that sense. I feel you could have possibly done a little more with this, but it's still alright the way it is now, too. And I like the whole "he"/"someone else" concept. I know both ;P
Fantastic work! Keep it all up.

Hey Elizabeth,
I really, really liked this. You write this beautifully, sincerely, and personally, and that's what made this fun to read (gripping too, I would say). You have a great voice when you write this type of fiction, and I'm usually not into that deep feelings of a teenager genere. In fact, I usually think it's total crap. But not this! xD. I really have no constructive criticizm for you, just keep up the great work.
-Alex